Depression, taking our loved ones!

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Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 11th January 2012, 11:58 am

The word depression used to mean near nothing to me in the distant past, I thought it was when you were sad, just sadness, thatís not the case by a long shot!

We went out recently and one of the young people of 21 years of age there would serve us normally and we were always pleased at this persons keenness to look after the customers, to much so, the depression was showing its self via this as it does in many other ways you would not normally notice if you have not been around people suffering high levels of depression, Bi polar, once called manic depressants!

This nasty malformation with in the suffers sometimes becomes to much to bare and they take their own lives, this happens far to often, at times no own really understands for ages after this person takes their life that they had depression!

Virtually all suicides are by depression sufferers!

A person that is set to suffer depression has been born with something you can compare with asthma in that it will make them suffer through out their lives if the proper care and prescribed support drugs are not adhered to.

Anti depressants are not habit forming and sufferers will do all that they can to stop taking the life saving drugs, because they feel different while on them and this is a serious problem to sufferers of depression, they do not want to feel as if their depression is noticed, this fear will cause more stress, causing more depression!

Once the depression has become more manageable from antidepressant use and support, they will try to stop the drugs and feel noticed via this support, more depression!!

The person suffering from depression has a malformation, in the depression suffers, this means a part of their body that responds to stress by ejecting chemicals in to their blood stream, as every one has in them, these chemicals with in use all, are the dispersal controllers of hormones that give us life and every variation in our lives.

How we feel, our skin colour, our allergies, our toenail shape, everything that is us these hormones dictate and if the wrong ones get signalled to be released, in depression sufferers, their emotions are crippled!

Their brain cannot function on the right levels any more, everything is just to hard and death seems the only way out of the constant turmoil they feel every moment of every day and hide so desperately causing more stress resulting in a deeper state of depression and some find this to much to be able to find anything good about life.

Its a loosing battle fort so desperately with in , no one will know their pain,thats is their goal,its not physical pain, this is emotional, far worse than a broken leg or a heart attack, at least you know it will get better in some way, to suffers of depression, there is no end in sight, ever!!

Try to imagine the worst you have ever felt about a break up or some very hurtful emotional happening in your life and multiply this feeling a hundred times over and that feeling will never ever go away, every second of every day its there, it wont let you be aware of anything that is good in your life, not one moment with out that emotional pain, thatís depression and a sufferer is constantly trying to hide this from everyone, mum, dad, brother, partener,if they can sustain a stable relation ship with some one stable for any length of time!!

The word depression is a silly one, because it does nothing to indicate how serious this hidden killer is, tucked away in your child, your school mate, your work buddy, your friends parent, this dwells with in, continually telling the sufferer, life is to hard, the alternative will end the confusion, the suffering, the loneliness even while all loved ones are around them, the absolutely nonsensical emotional pain we would think makes no sense at all, has a hold on them they need to help with to break!

Depression to the sufferer is so embarrassing and has to be hidden at all costs,you will have to be incredibly vigilant so you do not loose this loved one!

They will smile to hide it while wishing death will come to them,they will hide in their work,they will have emotoional out bursts,anger with no logical reason,fear when its nearly time to go out manofesting in emotional out busts,visiting friends will be not wanted,they may become fixated on sex,people will be to hard to have around,there are hudreds of tell tail signs,that you are about to loose your loved one and you have no idea at all!!

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Last edited by liquidg on 30th May 2012, 11:10 am; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  finfan on 11th January 2012, 2:01 pm

So what about the young bloke serving you, is he ok - or does he need to come snorkelling......

Yep depression is so wide spread these days it unbelievable, as is youth suicide, its very sad, a permanent solution to a temporary problem......always find someone to talk too before doing anything stupid- please!

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 12th January 2012, 11:28 am

The young person died on the weekend.

Times that should be the best times and celebrating times are when they normally take their lives, the happiness and joy of others sends them over the edge as they can not feel the way others do at those times and at times their disorder leaves them alone and others are not, over the edge they go!

In our family here in Q there have been two suicides from depression, one 16 years old and one 24 years old.

Our youngest, one of her friends found his dad had hung himself under the house some yearís back, he had suffered with it for ages as with the others until it took him!

I knew a few others that have luckily failed at their attempts at a way out of the suffering.

Its bad enough we loose these people, but its the ones that are left behind that carry the burden of why, could i have helped, how could this have happened, why didnít I see this coming and just the ones that knew them, all got left behind, normally crushed.

A doctor that I took some one to ages ago to be diagnosed, showed the stats,most have it at some stage of our lives, over 30 percent have clinical depression and a sizable amount of us have bi polar and than the worst of the lot, the varied levels of split personality thatís it at its worst and it is always hidden to the max!

The thing that makes it so easy to pick depression sufferers is that it always comes with an add on, like obsessive compulsive disorder, thats a very common one that comes with depression, there are more but thatís enough.

The places these people are in,with in themselves,right in fornt of us is so disturbing and most have no idea and could never understand!

A depression sufferer feels so alone,even out with their friends dancing smiling,masking it all inside,it is so hard to pick,but the young woman that passed away on the weekend,she showed the depression ,it was quite easy to pick,she hid it by smothering it with work,she was an excelent worker,that was the depression and the ways she interacted with customers.

Oh well,hopefully others close to her have learnt something about this silent killer from the lose of her Sad

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  finfan on 12th January 2012, 11:19 pm

Gee mate, that is very sad to hear.....

It such a feeling of failure and helplessness when you find out, I too had someone very close commit suicide out of depression and even though it was 8 years ago now the scars in me still run deep.....

Like you say its those left behind, which mixes that loss feeling with anger.... no winners Sad

Live everyday like its your last and appreciate every breath - we ARE very lucky in Australia....


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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 21st January 2012, 7:19 am

I was told today by the yougest a friend of hers friend killed himself two days ago,hung himself,he lost his fight with it as well,bugger,i had met him twice. Sad

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  reefadicted on 25th January 2012, 9:58 am

This is an important subject guys,I lost my cousin to the disease of depression, we all need to know about this!

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  Kitiara on 25th January 2012, 12:32 pm

I have known a few people who battled with it, one shot herself, the other 2 jumped in front of trains. All were good at concealing it with a good 'front' I only found out after the fact that they had had issues as they were very careful not to let on how they were feeling.

Another current friend is going through it at the moment, but at least he has opened up and admitted he has a problem and due to this is aware that he has many friends that are there for him should he need help. Unfortunately most don't, and they hide it through shame, guilt and thinking no-one cares until it's too late.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  Zhyr on 12th April 2012, 1:50 am

Depression is as much fun as anxiety and almost as much fun as a panic attack.
Good times! Highly recommend not getting any of the 3.

I've been blessed with depression for as long as I can remember. Anxiety for the last 4 or 5 years.

The biggest problem with depression is that you really can't be fudged doing anything about it when you're in the hole, and the next biggest is that people don't want to be around you nor you around them.

As for the front, you're not always thinking about how much you just want to top yourself. You have good times and bad times.

The meds... well... they're fun. The first few(2-6) weeks are not pleasant and that's when a lot of people stop taking them. Head aches, mood swings, anger, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, vivid dreams, etc.
They settle down eventually, but it's still getting past those weeks. Then when people get past them and feel great, they stop taking them thinking they're fixed.

And yes, I am fairly flippant about a serious issue, but it's better to laugh at it than for the alternative... or I probably would have taken the exit 15 or so years ago.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 12th April 2012, 9:39 am

I know what you mean, my wife is bi polar, what used to be called manic and the piggy back for her,depression has always something with it,is the old obsessive compulsive.

The nasty one Zoloft is one to do your head in,for a short period of time a god send and then a causer of psychosis, wonderful!

All of what you have typed I know very well,it took ten years for my other half to realise that once the meds made you feel semi normal,you cant go off them while you feel that way of you will not feel that way the next day.

A doctor recently advised her to drop out the antidepressants completely to clean out her system for a different med,now that was a painful experience, holy crap did she and all of us suffer,that was the deepest hole she has ever been in with her hormonal imbalance(depression),it went far beyond suicidal thoughts.

No wonder people end it all,even most doctors have no idea of how serious that physiological deformity causing bodily chemical to hormone imbalance is,hell hormones control everything about us,absolutely every thing,thoughts,feelings,eyesight,bones skin,blood-the lot!

Keep on the meds,as a physiatrist told her,at that level of depression, with out meds along with a few control methods, there is nothing she can do for her.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  Zhyr on 14th April 2012, 1:18 am

Yeah... coming off them is fun Very Happy

Going on any antidepressant screws up your head, not just zoloft.

I'm not sure what the proper procedure is for changing from an ssri to say effexor is, but going between SSRI's is usually a 24 hour break.

I've been half considering coming off mine since I've been on them for 2.5 years, and life is pretty good. Sometimes I wonder how muted some of my emotions are, but they do definitely help

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 14th April 2012, 3:33 pm

Thatís the problem with the failing bodily function,depression; the only way to attack it is to do something relating to drugs,legal or not and focus on something else to draw your attention away from your mind going places you would prefer it did not!

Sometimes when my wife has the depression taking over,it seems like the part of our brain that houses the subcontinuous takes over, like having a nightmare, false feelings while you are awake and feeling it as if it is real.

Most people that are not diagnosed,self medicate with grog, drugs, anything to place your emotions elsewhere or to dull them.

Very few people just get addicted to drugs or what ever; there are normally reasons why they start to depend on not feeling!

What milligrams are you on, my wife is on efexor at 300 milligrams and though she misses the silliness that is the high when the depression goes the way you want it to and feels, then the black hole cuts in and the thought of death seems very inviting.

People that have never been associated with it in any way,that they realise, need to be aware that this thing is the same as asthma, diabetes, all types of disabilities that need regular treatment to keep the sufferer alive!

Its not a mental illness the way they label it, thatís the outcome, I get so sick of it just labelled a mental illness, they need to get rid of that stupid label, depression!

Go see a phycologist or psychiatrist they say,its not that simple!

Donít look for that feeling from the past and go off your meds,the function that causes depression will take over and you will crash, clinical depression doesnít go away,your body is dependant on the medication now.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  Zhyr on 14th April 2012, 3:37 pm

depends on the cause of the depression.
sometimes it's a chemical imbalance, other times it's a specific event in a person's life... other times, it's just how their life is.

when you get over the cause, then you might not need the meds any more.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 14th April 2012, 4:12 pm

Thatís what depression is, a chemical imbalance.

The chems made in us that are sent out in the blood to set off hormonal releases when we are stressed are incorrect with depression sufferers, always to some degree is clinical depression, here and there is just depression.

We found a doctor that actual knew what depression was and showed us the stats of, near all of us will have a depression episode in our life time,70+ percent have it at times,40 something percent of us have clinical depression at varied levels, a small percent of us have bi polar at its varied diagnoses and schizophrenia, luckily a very small percentage have that nasty level of it.

He had a check list of the symptoms , she had most of them.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  fishnthings on 16th April 2012, 1:05 pm

My heart goes out to you all .
i have been reading the above posts with sadness as we . also have this terrible disease in our family !. i think it really is hereditary as my niece has recently been diagnosed also, thats 4 all up including extened family ! unfortunatley in our case her parents do not want to admit her illlnes which is so difficult for her, as she feels she can not open up to them when she feels she needs help .!pale
Your right guys , regarding the feeling of jubilation one minute then in deep sadness the next .. its not a nice way to live ones life and for friends and loved ones to also go throguh that roller coaster of seeing you become a shell of your former self from one day or minute to the next !Some days not being able to even get out of bed to go to work .

I believe that medication is a good thing for the short term only , then ,i think it is about getting out there doing some sort of excercise which in itself will give you natural endorphins to hopefully get back into life in a way we all deserve.
sadly for those suffering from clinical depression i is much more comlpicated and we need meds to keep a balance in our life .

i also hate the word Depression ! i feel it is like any other serious ilness unfortunaltey one can not see the blood /injury as such so some even in he medical profession ie some doctors nurses who have no clue tend to judge i have personally had that experience
they would say " get over it . unfortunatley it is not that easy..
i hope your wife is now doing as well as well as can be expected Liquidg . and you too Zhyr . Try being put on zanax or duecune what a night mare trying to get off this stuff. NEVER AGAIN .

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  Zhyr on 16th April 2012, 2:53 pm

My mother has been on them since her mother died in 2001, my brother was on them for a few years up until fairly recently (Well, I think he's off them).

Your nieces parents, do not necessarily need to be involved in seeing a GP and getting her on meds. It'd help to have them onside of course, but she can go alone or with you as support.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 16th April 2012, 3:09 pm

This is such a huge issue in society, most people that take their own lives from what I can see, the ones close to them have no idea of depression and can not see the simple signs before their loved one canít take it any more!

My other half was diagnosed at 15,how the hell a doc back then knew of it is beyond me, these days most have no real idea,he must have been a hell of an MD.

Sadly her mum would not acknowledge it and there was no treatment applied, even the not so great Prozac that was around wasnít used, so there were many obstacles and a few attempts at ending the suffering through her youth and later that depression caused, lots of drugs back then of course, with out legal ones these poor sufferers have to find a way to lift out of that black hole or at least cover it.

Yes I agree, it is inherited, it has to be, she has lost two young close relatives to it and two older ones.

I over dosed on Zoloft once when a bit desperate to get past a bad time and except for no sleep for three full days, with in 6 hours the weight was off my shoulders completely, what a relief that was!

Just a few days and my issue were dealt with and no more was needed, it was a godsend.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  aterese on 19th April 2012, 12:59 am

Topic sensitive to me, so not going to reply in length.

But I have battled depression since my brother was murdered 10 years ago and it seems to run in our family.

Mine is more anxiety now days, but was severe depression the years following his death.

I hate that I am on medication but without it I cannot control my moods (one extremely angry short tempered person). Medication isn't the answer though, as going down that path helped initially to keep a balance, but side effects if you miss and when you change to another drug....have been ongoing battle for 10 years.

I know way too many people who have worst effects from being on the drugs, than probably the condition itself.

And yes ppl with depression or any other mental condition are normal and just have an imbalance that makes it difficult for them to be in control of emotions or thoughts. The drugs balance it so you don't feel the extremes, but that also means for some it dulls you from feeling normal emotions (catch twenty). My hobbies are what keeps me sane, go the fishies.

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Re: Depression, taking our loved ones!

Post  liquidg on 19th April 2012, 1:41 pm

This topic is a huge thing to many people and some families donít even know it yet, thatís bad!

Bummer about your bro,life is s real test sometimes hey,not of faith,of ability to go on with such adversities.

The meds are a mood levelling horizon for sure,no ups no downs and its sad that you can not have that overly happy and totally sad and not suffer beyond the average person!

It certainly does run in families, they say it doesnít,but the damaged genes are there through the generations.

I wonder what causes this malfunction to be in some,the air toxins,water toxins,foods,what ever,but the rate of depression is at an alarming rise from stats and they have no idea what gives clinical to some!

They proved from Vietnam that the defoliant-herbicide agent orange that was ingested into the guys and gals that suffered through that stupidity, damaged the genes for at least three generations from them and we take in so much stuff in everything!!!

Oh well keep on keeping on hey,we are all important additions to society and valued by others, no matter what that crappy parasite sucking away at our emotions called depression makes us think,to have our very short time at life to the over all scheme of things,is worth it!

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