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THEY WALK AMONG US!
Fish-fan 20th May 2010, 1:22 am
They Walk Among Us!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' My brother explained that the sun rises in the East and has for some time. She shook her head and said,' Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'
They Walk Among Us!
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.'
They Walk Among Us!
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot.
They Walk Among Us!
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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
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And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where the past governor from up north happened to appear. She took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' she asked.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
The gov thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they vote, and their vote equals ours, and most frightening, they also reproduce!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' My brother explained that the sun rises in the East and has for some time. She shook her head and said,' Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'
They Walk Among Us!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.'
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car boot.
They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where the past governor from up north happened to appear. She took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' she asked.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
The gov thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they vote, and their vote equals ours, and most frightening, they also reproduce!
Fish-fan- Posts : 37
Join date : 2010-03-11
Location : Brisbane
Re: THEY WALK AMONG US!
ianqld 20th May 2010, 3:55 pm
A few years ago a woman had a new refrigerator delivered. It was during curb pick up week.
The truck dropped it off at the front of her house. She removed the box to check for any damage during delivery.
Then she went inside to help her husband move the old one.
While they were inside someone came along and thought the fridge was being dumped, so put it in their trailer and drove away.
She went on radio to ask if anyone had seen anyone driving with a new fridge, the radio DJ was trying hard not to laugh.
The truck dropped it off at the front of her house. She removed the box to check for any damage during delivery.
Then she went inside to help her husband move the old one.
While they were inside someone came along and thought the fridge was being dumped, so put it in their trailer and drove away.
She went on radio to ask if anyone had seen anyone driving with a new fridge, the radio DJ was trying hard not to laugh.
ianqld- Posts : 55
Join date : 2009-09-11
Location : Townsville
Re: THEY WALK AMONG US!
moorish idol 21st May 2010, 3:22 pm
lol . how would you feel ! can only imagine the words being exchanged in that house !
moorish idol- Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-03-22
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